My learning this week has been about dealing with conflict, and particularly how to manage those difficult conversations. I am going to call these courageous conversations going forward because I think this sums it up perfectly. Like the majority of people, I avoid these conversations and know that this is an area I need to develop. Effective leaders must be honest and direct communicators and they must manage conflict. Not dealing with conflict in the workplace will certainly not result in it going away and can cause more problems. I have summarised some of my big takeaways with lots of references because I feel I will revisit this material a lot, both for my own use, and also when coaching others who are struggling with this challenging aspect of leadership.

• Timing is crucial when dealing with conflict. If a situation is dealt with before it escalates, then it can sometimes barely be noticed as a conflict (Leading Change, 2019).
• Good leaders must give regular feedback, both positive and negative. This can be presented as constructive criticism and the way it is delivered is essential. Think positive sandwich! (Nohria, 2016)
• Plan the difficult conversation. Use the conversation plan document from Fair Work Ombudsman (n.d.) and rehearse the opening statement (STR!VE, 2013).
• STR!VE (2013) and The Fair Work Ombudsman (n.d.) both have steps to work through for this conversation, including planning a very clear opening statement.
• Begin and end positively (Bender, 2005).
• Emphasise areas of agreement (Bender, 2005).
• Practice active listening. Listening can be more important than talking (Bender, 2005; Minute MBA, 2012)
• We communicate in unintentional ways with body language and this is a result of long habits and requires focus to change these (Bender, 2005).

After completing the conflict resolution questionnaire, (McGraw-Hill Global Educational Holdings, 2018) it helped me to clarify what my current approaches are to manage conflict. It showed that my top preferences for handling conflict were avoiding (smooth over or suppress conflict situations) and forcing (hard influence tactics, including assertiveness). This was closely followed by compromising and problem-solving. The area I scored least on was yielding (giving in completely to the other sides wishes). I agreed with some of this but I certainly reflected on the ways I deal with conflict in my personal life are different from how I deal with them at work, which is quite different. With regards to dealing with conflict at work, I think I need to develop more in the areas of problem-solving and compromising. But most importantly I need to become braver and not avoid those courageous conversations. As I have worked my way through this literature I have already planned some conversations I will be having soon.

References

Bender, Y. (2005). The tactful teacher: Effective communication with parents, colleagues, and administrators. Retrieved from Ebook Library.

Fair Work Ombudsman. (n.d.). Manager’s guide to difficult conversations in the workplace. Australian Government. Retrieved from http://mel0201clsprod.blob.core.windows.net/uploads/fairwork/programresources/ca3bcd7f-8d27-4146-879e-35cb809a87d4/c9a2d0e7-dba1-49b6-a017-2dae43fdee62/manager’s%20guide%20to%20difficult%20conversations%20in%20the%20workplace.pdf

Leading change. (2019). In Teacher librarian as leader [ETL504 module]. Retrieved from Charles Sturt University website:  https://interact2.csu.edu.au/webapps/blackboard/content/listContent.jsp?course_id=_42384_1&content_id=_2733070_1

McGraw-Hill Global Education Holdings. (2018). Self-Assessment 11.4: What is your preferred conflict handling style?   Retrieved from http://highered.mheducation.com/sites/007040187x/student_view0/chapter11/self-assessment_11_4.html

Nohria, N. [HR360Inc]. (2016, January 7). Steps to successful employee communication [Video file]. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/bRXLTZMvy-U

Strive! (2013, June 12). How to have a courageous conversation [Video file]. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/CoFe_NRRITQ