A shared experience and reflection with Maren Deepwell and Kin Lane

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”, a seemingly harmless and “simple” question asked as a child, as part of a writing activity at school. Looking back at it now, I simply did not have any clue of what I wanted to be. I know many family and friends followed through with the answer to that question and their pathways were very clear and chronological. Like Maren and Kin, however, I did not picture myself as being here today, doing what I am doing. My pathway to academia and scholarship of teaching and learning was never planned. I have seen it many times, the pathway to learning/education design and academic development is full of stories of people who fell into their career by chance and bloomed.

While Kin’s reflection began with a conversation with his sister, and Maren’s was sparked by Kin’s sharing of his career journey. My reflection came about because Maren’s journey resounded with me so much that I had to respond.

Like Kin and Maren, in the late 1990s, my view was I had to work to pay the bills but no real direction. I can remember having a conversation with my mother as we strolled one crisp winter morning in Stockholm. I was in the last year of high school and I blurted out “I don’t really have ambition, I just know I need to earn money.” My mother turned to me in disbelief and said “It is not good to not have ambition. You need purpose and meaning.” My mother’s response took me by surprise because in my mind I thought I was being pragmatic, practical even. I was not an excellent student and my grades were nothing to ‘write home about’. To this day, remembering her words, I often feel conflicted. Was it because she wanted me to be the best I could be and was sad that I didn’t want to be? It is a question I will have to ask her one day.

At university, I completed a literature degree, still not really knowing where I was headed. It allowed me to write creatively and engage with writers near and far.

My first few jobs were administration-based roles. I learnt how to file, take meeting notes, use a photocopier, set up events, make or buy coffee, and really build my communication confidence skills.

For a time, I worked in retail and banking. These experiences made it clear that this was definitely not a career path that suited me. I learnt a lot of uncomfortable truths. While it was hard to take constructive feedback on the chin, looking back now, it provided me with the knowledge, understanding and the much needed skills for resilience. Suffice it to say, I respect all those who work in retail and banking.

One day in the early 2000s, I was working on editing some documents for a training (professional development, not gym training) company, and one of the senior facilitators stopped to have a chat. She told me that she could see potential in me, and she encouraged me to look into a role in facilitation and training. I absolutely believe, it was from that point that my career began. I was mentored and encouraged. I focused on upskilling on all things learning design.

At the height of online learning, I jumped in with both feet and found myself consulting, designing and creating online learning resources for various industries. Along the way, my mentors (whether they knew it or not) would from time to time help me re-evaluate my journey and guide me to the next steps. In 2023 I completed my Doctor of Philosophy qualification. It was then that I realised I indeed have a career and the journey continues.

To that little girl who kept staring at the blank piece of paper, trying to find the answer to what she wanted to be, I say to her “you will find your tribe and you will flourish.”